My Version of Abbott’s Speech
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a night for utter distress at our political choice as a country. This has been an awful night for the australian people, and I would like to kick the australian people in the cock for whom they voted.
The “crowd” is anything but enthusiastic.
I hate you all for your apathy. I have to say to you that I feel utterly disgusted as I think of the responsibilities Tony Abbott may have ahead of him. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank all of the candidates around the country, for inciting utter apathy in the Australian people. I acknowledge his opponent, Julia Gillard, who will also be getting kicked in the cock for this utter farce of an election.
Above all else, tonight has been a loss for the Australian people. They are terrible judges of policy, and clearly significantly dominated by utter morons. The Australian government HAS lost it’s legitimacy, to a large extent.The coalition is back in business. They stand ready to offer the Australian people repression, hatred and backward policy.
The Australian people have said “Whatever else may define our political culture, it is utter apathy and cynicism.”
To conclude, I fucking hate all of you, I hope you all die in a fire.
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